Knock And It Might Be Opened

Far too many spies and provocateurs are abroad in this era of dying Dying God worship for the O.T.O.T.O. to take any chances. In addition, we exist only to guide the chosen, the elite of mankind, the Kings of the earth. So in order to contact us you must first prepare a detailed dossier of your qualifications. Before establishing regular communication with us you will first be required to submit copies of: full legal name and address; relevant national identification number (i.e., SSN in the United States); criminal record, if any; credit history and credit card account numbers (the O.T.O.T.O. never charges dues or fees of any kind, but this information is needed to evaluate your reliability and worthiness); all magickal and other personal diaries; any other information, negative or positive, that we should have in order to vet you.

Once you have assembled all the necessary information you should then send an email, not less than 400 nor more than 700 words, telling us why you think it would be worth our valuable time to take any notice of you at all. If we ascertain the proper qualities of worthiness in you, you will perhaps be notified of where to send your dossier. Otherwise, we will not waste another minute on you, and you will continue to languish with the rest of the barely human dregs of humanity.