M.ail from M.aggots and M.orons

(latest received posted first so you don't have to waste your time looking at any of them more than once)


Fans are so annoying, but they're a price you pay for genius.

From: "Divot J. Squirrel"
To: theototo@yahoo.com
Subject: LOL
Date: Wed, 15 May 2002 15:30:02 -0700

Dufus the bill will be the hole in the head.
Mrs. John Dee


The subject line tells you everything you need to know about this game.

Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2002 08:25:04 -0800 (PST)
From: "SANKA Bandett"
Subject: Confidence
To: theototo@yahoo.com


Dear I.B. Butthead,

I am well confident of your capability to assist me in a transaction for mutual benefit of both parties, ie(me and you) I am also believing that you will not expose or betray the trust and confidence I am about to establish with you. I have decided to contact you with greatest delight and personal respect.

Well, I am BANDETT SANKA, Son to FUDDY SANKA who was arrested by the ECOMAOG PEACE KEEPING FORCE months ago in my country Sierra Leone.

Few days before the arrest of my father, he confided in me and ordered me to go to his underground safe and move out immediately, with a Deposit Agreement and Cash Receipt he made with a security Company in Abidjan Cote dŐIvoire where he deposited One Iron Box containing USD$ 22 million dollars cash (Twenty Two Million dollars). This money was made from the sell of Gold and Diamond by my father and he have already decided to use this money for future investment of the family.

Thereafter, I rushed down to Abidjan with these two documents and confirmed the deposit of the box by my father. Also, I have been granted political stay as a Refugee by the Government of C™te dŐIvoire.

Meanwhile, my father have instructed me to look for a trusted foreigner who can assist me to move out this money from C™te dŐIvoire immediately for investment.

Based on this , I solicit for your assistance to transfer this fund into your Account, but I will demand for the following requirement:

(1) Could you provide for me a safe Bank Account where this fund will be transferred to in your country or another neaarby country where taxation will not take great toll on the money?

(2) Could you be able to assist me to obtain my travelling papers after this transfer to enable me come over to meet you in your country for the investment of this money?

(3) Could you be able to introduce me to a profitable business venture that would not require much technical expertise in your country where part of this fund will be invested?

Please, all these requirements are urgently needed as it will enable me to establish a stronger business relationship with you hence I will like you to be the general overseer of the investment thereafter. I am a Christian and I will please, want you to handle this transaction based on the trust I have established on you. For your assistance in this transaction, I have decided to offer you 12% percent commission of the total amount at the end of this business. The security of this business is very important to me and as such, I would like you to keep this business very confidential. I shall expect your urgent reply.

Thank you and God bless you

Tel : 222 77 65 418 56


This idiot's brain has become so slack that he actually thought this website could be taken seriously by his branch of the OTO!

Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2002 23:16:23 -0800
From: "Rank Moron"
To: theototo@yahoo.com
Subject: You're going to get sued.

93, Theotoetc:
By asking for credit card numbers over the internet without offering a viable service or product, you are setting yourself up for some very serious legal problems. Already, superiors in the Order are concerned regarding your site, and I predict you won't be up for long.

Yes, I have the love of Bob myself, but don't seek your fortune at the mouth of a canon. You're going to get blown away..

In Bob We Trust:
93 93/93
St.Rank of AmeRanka